Is It Yours?

Some things are under your control and other things are not under your control.

For example, you control your own opinions, goals, desires, likes and dislikes -- and your own actions.

You don't and can't control the aging of your own body, the weather, society, politics, nature -- and you can't control the actions of other people.

The things you can control belong to you. What you can't control belongs to others. If you try to control or own what belongs to others (such as the actions or opinions of other people) you will fail, and feel bad about failing. You'll blame others for your failure and also for your bad feelings.

But if you control only the things that are yours, and allow others full control over the things that are not yours, you will succeed. You won't blame other people. You'll never be forced to do things you don't want to do. You won't have enemies. And you won't feel bad.

Every time something bad happens to you, always place it into one of two categories: 1) things you can control; and 2) things you can't control.

If it's something you control, then take action. If it's something you cannot control, then don't worry about it. It's not yours. It's none of your business.

For example, let's say you're stuck in traffic. Your first impulse might be anger. Why? Because it affects you. But being affected by something isn't what gives you ownership of it. That's why your action -- your anger -- is impotent and futile: Because you don't control the traffic. And because you don't control the traffic, it's not yours to get mad about. People might say, "just let it go," but you never "had it" in the first place.