Never Say You've 'Lost' Something

Everything you "own" once was in a condition of not being yours. So when it is no longer yours, it has been returned to where it came from, as far as you're concerned. Has your home been taken away? It has been returned. Has a loved one died? He or she has been returned. The circumstances of things that are returned don't matter, and the emotions you might feel irrelevant.

The important thing is that you never view anything as "yours," but instead accurately view things you "own" as simply on loan for your use temporarily. Enjoy them and take care of them as you would the objects in a hotel room.

How to Profit From Misfortune

Every time something bad or unpleasant happens to you, ask yourself what skills, resources or powers you have for turning that accident into an opportunity for self-development. If you see an attractive person, for example, you have within you the power of self-restraint to overcome your desire. If you're in pain, you have the strength to endure pain. If you hear harsh language, you have patience. By focusing on the defensive weapons you already posses, rather than the assault, you will grow those defenses and not be defeated by bad or unpleasant things in life.

Freedom of Choice

Sickness can weaken your body, but it cannot weaken your ability to make choices. A car accident can hinder your legs, but not your ability to make choices. And this is true in every bad thing that happens to you. It may harm some part of you, but you can always make your own choices.

The Hardcore Secret to Happiness

Don't demand that things go how you want, but instead want them to go as they go -- and you'll always be happy. When you truly want everything to be just as it is, you will live in paradise.

Life is Like An Airport

When traveling by airplane, sometimes you have a stopover in a cool airport. It might have an interesting art gallery, great restaurants and nice cyber cafes.

But no matter how nice the airport is, you've got to pay attention to the time so you don't miss your flight. And when it's time to board, you have to just leave all the cool stuff in the airport behind and get on the plane.

Life is like that. Your whole life is like a stopover in an airport full of cool things to explore. Always remember you'll have to walk away from everything some day -- including those you love -- and leave it all behind.

Don't Take Credit For Things You Haven't Done

Never take credit for excellence that you are not responsible for. When a car designer says, "look how awesome my car is," that's OK. But when you buy a car, and say, "look how awesome my car is," what have you done? You've gone shopping. Only take pride in the things you've done, and never in the excellent work of others.

Who to Blame When Things Go Wrong

People don't get upset about things that happen, but about their opinions of things that happen. If we hear that a drunk driver smashed into the car of a stranger, we feel nothing. But when we find out our own car has been damaged by a drunk driver, we're upset about it. It's easy to see how a car accident is upsetting or not upsetting depending on our opinion about the car.

So whenever you're bothered by something, or upset about something, or feel that someone has done something to offend you, don't blame others. Blame yourself. You are upset only by your own opinions.

The most ignorant people always blame others. Those with a little wisdom blame themselves. But the truly wise blame nobody. Shit happens.

Remember Why You Do Things

Whenever you're about to do something, always remember why you're really doing it. So, for example, when you travel on vacation, you're doing so in order to enjoy the pleasures of travel. Remind yourself that annoying things happen when you travel -- airplane delays, lost luggage, overpriced food, drunk people behaving badly, etc. Instead of allowing yourself to get mad or irritated at these expected events, remind yourself when such things happen that your purpose was not to avoid the annoyances of travel but instead to enjoy its pleasures.

How to Develop the Habit of Detachment

A great habit for developing detachment about things is to always view them categorically. This applies to everything, from the least important to the most.

So when using your favorite coffee cup, remind yourself that you're inclined to like coffee cups in general, and not just this particular cup. So if, in the future, you break your cup, it won't bother you so much.

And even when you kiss your child or your spouse, remember that your affection is based on the fact that humans are capable of loving other humans. If your child or wife should die, such a mental habit will help you endure it.

How to Always Get What You Want

When you don't get what you want, you're unhappy.

We can't always control what we get. But we can usually control what we want.

By wanting only those things that are in our power to get, we avoid unhappiness.

If you want a clean car, or to lose weight, or to read more, then take action and be happy.

If you want to be younger, or want other people to agree with you, or want everyone you meet to be nice to you, then you are setting yourself up for unhappiness.

The solution to this problem is to kill your desire for things beyond your control.

Is It Yours?

Some things are under your control and other things are not under your control.

For example, you control your own opinions, goals, desires, likes and dislikes -- and your own actions.

You don't and can't control the aging of your own body, the weather, society, politics, nature -- and you can't control the actions of other people.

The things you can control belong to you. What you can't control belongs to others. If you try to control or own what belongs to others (such as the actions or opinions of other people) you will fail, and feel bad about failing. You'll blame others for your failure and also for your bad feelings.

But if you control only the things that are yours, and allow others full control over the things that are not yours, you will succeed. You won't blame other people. You'll never be forced to do things you don't want to do. You won't have enemies. And you won't feel bad.

Every time something bad happens to you, always place it into one of two categories: 1) things you can control; and 2) things you can't control.

If it's something you control, then take action. If it's something you cannot control, then don't worry about it. It's not yours. It's none of your business.

For example, let's say you're stuck in traffic. Your first impulse might be anger. Why? Because it affects you. But being affected by something isn't what gives you ownership of it. That's why your action -- your anger -- is impotent and futile: Because you don't control the traffic. And because you don't control the traffic, it's not yours to get mad about. People might say, "just let it go," but you never "had it" in the first place.

Welcome to the Enchiridion. I Am Epictetus.

Not really. But if the great stoic philosopher Epictetus lived today, and published a blog, this would be it. My aim is to translate Epictetus' master work, the Enchiridion (or, "Handbook") from an inaccessible direct and academic translation into the everyday colloquial speech of the blogosphere.

Why am I doing this?

Stoic philosophy in general, and the Enchiridion in particular, are fundamentally hyper-relevant to modern people. But the language of available translations, and antiquated references, repel casual readers, especially the young.

A warning: I will take liberties with examples and cultural references, but will strive to remain true to the message and intent of the original.

Mike Elgan
http://elganmedia.net